WILDFIRE: A Memoir Available Now!

Pumpkin Brains Designs
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How to use the Templates

  1. Guts First 🩸
    Scoop out the slimy insides (save those seeds if you’re a snacker). Thin the carving wall to about ½–¾ inch—trust me, your knives will thank you.
     
  2. Summon the Stencil 🕯️
    Tape the pattern to your pumpkin. Use a thumbtack to poke holes along the lines like you’re summoning a dotted ghost map. Remove the stencil, and voilà—your design has appeared.
     
  3. Decode the Darkness 🦇
     
    • White areas → Cut all the way through (open the portal).
       
    • Gray areas → Scrape, don’t stab (ghostly shadows).
       
    • Black areas → Leave them be (the void is powerful).
       

  1. Tools of the Trade 🔪
     
    • Cheap serrated pumpkin knives (the orange-handled ones—they work like black magic).
       
    • A wood gouge for scraping… or just raid your toolbox and grab a flathead screwdriver.
       

  1. Let There Be (Safe) Light 💡
    Forget candles—they’ll roast your pumpkin into a mushy corpse.
    Grab a clamp light from Walmart or any hardware store. Now here’s the trick: remove the clamp and the metal rim so you’re left with just the socket and cord.
    Screw in a high-efficiency bulb (LED or CFL). They glow bright, stay cool, and keep your pumpkin from rotting before Halloween night.
     
  2. Final Hexes & Hacks 🕸️
     
    • Carve from the center out—don’t let your pumpkin collapse too soon.
       
    • Broken piece? Toothpick surgery brings it back from the dead.
       
    • Go slow, embrace the mess, and remember: spooky art > perfect art.
       

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Hear my spooky true story while you carve!

If my pumpkins impress you, wait until you hear how I stood up to one of the most documented predators in modern history.  Wildfire: A Memoir is now on Audible, Spotify, Google Play, Amazon.com, Apple Books, Ingram Spark, and BN.com

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